#i love them both and want them to resolve things
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I think part of Viâs journey in Arcane is seeing her family the way they truly are and coming to accept them for who they are, blisters and bruises and all.
Vi sees her dad Vander as this pillar of strength and resolve and ideals. But deep down inside heâs got a monster that can come raging out at any time. Silco knows this first hand, but Vi doesnât. Thatâs why sheâs so terrified when Vander hulks out at the beginning of Season 1. For the first time she saw the monster that Vander could become.
And it takes until Season 2 for her to accept this aspect of him. To know that despite the fact he has this terrible beast inside (now literally) she can still love and appreciate him with warmth and kindness.
Same for Jinx. She only saw Jinx as powder. Even when Powder changed and became Jinx, Vi didnât want to see this. She deluded herself into thinking Powder could come back and theyâd be rid of Jinx. She literally tells Silco that she wants to tear out the âbrainwashingâ she thinks Silco did to her to turn her into Jinx. But at the end of the day, Jinx isnât brainwashed. Vi canât change Jinx back into Powder. But coincidentally, Powder also isnât gone either. They both exist inside her. She is both Jinx AND Powder. And by the end of Act 2 of season 2 I think Vi has come to accept that.
Like look at this picture. Vi is here, standing with her monster of a dad, and her sister who has split personalities in both Jinx and Powder (as represented by Isha). But sheâs not scared of either of them anymore. Sheâs content. Happy. She can accept them for who they are now.
Thereâs a lot more too. I think Vi seeing Caitlyn for who she truly is (a privileged rich girl who has deeply ingrained privileges and sense of superiority). Like Vi starts seeing Caitlyn as just another enforcer, but gradually over the course of season 1 and beginning of season 2 she learns that Caitlyn has a kind heart and maybe she could be one of the exceptions. But Caitlyn does still have this ugly side of privileged that clouds her judgement and causes her to do terrible things. And Vi doesnât want to see that at first. Thatâs why she goes along with the enforcer role even though itâs a betrayal of everything she believes in. Sheâs so desperate to not see the terrible things Caitlyn is able to. But again, by the end of Act 2, I think sheâs come to accept thatâs a part of her. And despite the fact that Caitlyn has done terrible things, I think deep down she still loves her. And I think this weekend we will see her hold Caitlyn accountable for it.
Either way, I think itâs fascinating how much that picture encompasses all of the things Vi has tried to deny existed in the family she grew up with, but now sheâs accepting them for who they are no matter how monstrous and crazy they might be.
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miserable (you & me) | h. hyunjin <3
a/n: i have had these blurbs in my drafts FOREVER. "miserable (you & me)" is a song i've had on repeat since it dropped. i'm also a sucker for angst, so please enjoy these self-indulgent posts (they all have happy endings, i promise!) there will be one for each member, so stay tuned <3 pics not mine~
content:Â angst, happy ending |Â wc:Â 1k |Â warnings:Â none really! |Â pairing:Â hyunjin x gn!reader |Â requests:open
ËĘâĄÉË
ë ę°ë§ě´ ěë 미ëě ěě ëťě´ ë ëśěë¤ / âi stretched out my hand towards a hopeless future and poured myself outâ
of course it would be raining right now. the dayâs weather had been normal, a smattering of clouds above and an overcast glow hinting that the weather might take a turn for the worse, but nothing was set in stone. that turned out to be true in a more literal sense, hyunjin realized, while watching people mill about on the street below with freshly opened umbrellas. he scoffed. what did you think would happen? what did you think would change?
the answer was nothing. but i had no choice.
you and hyunjin met up for your usual weekend get-together, returning to a favorite drink spot of yours after a few weekends of schedules keeping you apart. he had missed you so dearly, something that became achingly clear when his whole body lit up from seeing your face peek through the entrance. you noticed the buzz in his body when he greeted you, a sweet laugh escaping your lips. hyunjinâs heart melted at the sound, collapsing even more into endearment when you said, âi missed you a ton, too.â
a moderate number of people took up the tables and seats in the building, so there was a comfortable hum of casual conversation surrounding you. hyunjin, as always, was so closely tuned into the sound of your voice, he wouldâve believed you if you said the place was completely empty. it was clichĂŠd for sure, but he was enraptured by every single thing you said. he loved listening to all your thoughts, stories, jokes, anecdotes; whatever you were willing to share with hyunjin, heâd accept with open and grateful hands. you both laughed as you finished telling him an embarrassing story your friend shared with you the other day, and, so you could take a sip of your drink, you asked hyunjin, âhow are you?â
without skipping a beat, hyunjin answered, âiâve liked you for the longest time.â
seeing as that was quite the unexpected answer to your question, you froze. your brain buffered, face showing barely any expression, except maybe shock or confusion. hyunjin, perhaps realizing what just occurred, reacted with wide eyes and frantic apologies. if his confession hadnât stopped you so sharply in your tracks, the endless refrain of iâm so sorry! i donât know why i did that. iâm so stupid! would have drowned out the words he spoke so naturally. you didnât have time to process, but you tried to protest against hyunjinâs incessant apologies. this, it seemed, was fruitless.
hyunjin, with shaking legs and fumbling hands, gathered his things.Â
âhyunjin, whatâre youââ
âi should go, y/n,â he responded quickly, too quickly for him to mean it.
your heart broke at the way his voice cracked when he said your name, âno, just stay for a minute. please, iââ
his chest tightened when please fell from your lips, but he couldnât bear the idea of you begging him to stay, only to tell him you didnât feel the same. yes, it was immature, and, sure, it was probably selfish. yet all hyunjin could think to do was leave. so he did, his goodbye all staggered breaths and darting eyes.
you turned in your chair, barely catching his gaze as he raced to who knows where, âhyunjin?â
his eyes caught yours, and he ripped them away before he lost his foolish resolve. he hoped he offered you a soft smile, something to say iâm sorry for this. i just want you to be happy, and i guess this is me trying to make sure you stay that way. the adrenaline rush meant he couldnât feel his face, though. he had no way of knowing what he looked like when he looked back at you.Â
hyunjinâs whole trip home consisted of pleas for his legs to move faster. if his steps hit the ground hard enough, he could ignore all the scolding voices inside his head until he was safe in his room. if he were honest with himself, he was outrunning the look of shock on your face, and the way your voice fell when you asked him to stay. hyunjin, as he caught his breath in his room, realized that running away from you meant he ended up in front of his window, facing a future of heartbreak. a sardonic laugh broke free from his lips. maybe if you did it the right way, at the right moment, youâd be looking at them instead. maybe youâd be thinking of something other than angsty plotlines for the strangers passing by on the street below.Â
âor maybe i could be hurt much worse,â he whispered to himself.Â
that was the last sound that shared space with hyunjin in the room. he sat, mind racing and leg bouncing, completely silent. until someone knocked on the door.
hyunjin shuffled to the entryway, instinctively opening it at a familiar knock, only coming to when he saw you standing before him. of course, no matter how hard he tried, his body would always end up right in front of you.
ignoring the way his deflated figure twisted your chest up in all the worst ways, you chided, âyou know itâs rude to confess to someone and leave immediately after, right? you didnât give me a chance to respond.â
you huffed as you spoke. hyunjin couldnât help the endeared smile that graced his face when he watched your frustrated, furrowed brow turn into a cute, unintentional pout.Â
he thought, they are more precious to me than theyâll ever know, and he admitted, âyouâre right. it was very rude of me. while i may not deserve to hear it after the way i acted, would you mind telling me what you were going to say?â
your shoulders relaxed as the familiar shine in hyunjinâs eyes returned. his beautiful smile came back too, as he watched your face light up with a reply heâd only ever dreamed of before.
âi like you too, hyunjin. i have for the longest time.âas though his hands werenât shaking from anxiety a mere five minutes before this moment, hyunjin reached out to you, pulling you into his home and into his arms. when you accepted his invitation and melted into his embrace, hyunjin thought, iâll pour my heart out to them again and again, if it means weâll always end up right here, together.
ËĘâĄÉË
#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids angst#skz angst#hyunjin angst#hwang hyunjin angst#stray kids blurbs#skz blurbs#stray kids hyunjin#skz hyunjin#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#hyunjin imagines#sweetkpopmusings
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Here's every version of the letter the Inquisitor gets from their LI plus Varric (which didn't make me cry at all)
If your Inky didn't romance anyone:
Inquisitor, Greetings from miserable, rainy Minrathous! (Don't tell Dorian I called it that.) The rotten weather here is making me nostalgic for Skyhold. The mountains were freezing, but at least the air didn't smell like wet garbage. We'll have to get in another game of Wicked Grace, soon. Harding picked up the trail again. I'd tell you not to worry, but I know how useless that is. Instead, I'll just say: I've got a great team on this. Neve could stare down the Maker, and wait until you meet Rook. He's/She's/They're a natural: Smart, resourceful, completely unpredictable. You'd like him/her/them, as long as you don't try to beat him/her/them at cards. Chuckles'll never know what hit him. I'll write again once we have something solid for you. Drinks at the Hanged Man are on me when this is over. Take care of yourself. Varric
Blackwall:
My love, You have summoned me to Minrathous, and I will answer your call, as soon as responsibilities here in the South allow. I have missed being by your side. Will these troubles be the last we face? The world seems always to conspire, through duty or disaster, to pull you away from me. I do not resent it. You are dedicated to purposes far larger and more significant than myself. I hope you do not think me a fool for hoping that one day, your only concern will be the color you wish our walls to be painted, or the flowers we will plant beside our gate. I'm partial to carnations. Yours always, Thom
Cassandra:
My love, We are no strangers to duty, or the separation it demands of us. You head for Tevinter, and though I want to go with you, there is work we both must do. I will not falter in the tasks that wait before me and I pray my actions, in whatever measure they can, will keep you safe. The others see only confidence in my resolve, but you have always known more than mere appearance. I confess to you, and you alone, that I am afraid. I'm afraid of what may happen, that Thedas will face such turmoil as it did before. I know not what awaits us. Yet even in the face of uncertainty, there are two things I cannot doubt and never will. The first is that our paths are never separated long. That I will find you at my side when I need you, as you will find me at yours. I will play my part in this and follow as soon as I can. The second thing I never doubt is you. Whatever lies before you, trust yourself. Trust your heart as I trust it. It will not lead you astray. Yours, Cassandra
Cullen:
The top of the letter has been punctured by small, sharp teeth, leaving most of a beloved name and a few sentences chewed to read. I fear the puppy started on this letter shortly after I did. I'd start over, but I must send this tonight if it's to reach you. Matters are settled here and I make for Tevinter as soon as possible. I almost believed chaos might spare us this time. I can't say I wished to see Minrathous before now, but I am eager to see you. I long to see your face and know that you are all right. You are I've There's I wish I was better at putting into writing all that's in my mind. For now, simply know that I love you. It is the most cherished constant of my life. The days ahead will not be easy. I know there's much you carry, more than many realize. But whatever you must face, you will not meet it alone. You have my sword, my counsel, my - I could write this list forever when all I mean to say is this - Whatever you need of me, I am yours. Cullen
Dorian:
Amatus, I'm writing. Again. Yes, the sending crystals still work and yes, you'll be in Minrathous in a few short weeks. But a letter, written in blind longing, is real. It can be touched, and it can be held, when ink and paper must substitute for your skin on mine and my breath in your ear. I used to scoff at frequent declarations of affection. Trite, I thought. Save them for rare and precious moments. But time and love are no longer things I care to squander, especially not as we race again toward calamity. And so, in each of these fleeting, ephemeral seconds, I will tell you that I love you. Whether penned or spoken, or conveyed by glance or action, I love you. In this moment, and in all the moments to come, for as long as they do, I love you. I will find you soon. Yours, Dorian
Iron Bull
Hey, Kadan, Not the first time we've marched toward different battles. I know you're keeping the crap from catching fire up in Tevinter. Wish I could be there, but I'll make sure there's a world for you to come back to when you're done dealing with crazy vints and stupid Antaam and whatever other crap Solas kicked up. (Shit, the Antaam. Remember when I was worried what would happen if I went tal-vashoth? That right there!) I know you're gonna be careful, and you've got Morrigan there. Just take care of yourself. If anything happens to you, I'm going to have to take Krem and the Chargers and stomp across all of Tevinter to come get you. It'll be a whole thing, and you know it'll upset Dorian. Being apart from you made me realize something else. I spent so long being whatever the Ben-Hassrath wanted me to be. An investigator. An agent. A mercenary sending reports. These past years, since the Inquisition ended, I've been able to just be what I want to be. And what I really want to be is yours. I like the person I am when I'm with you. So come back safe. Love, The signature appears to be a stylized rendering of the Iron Bull's head.
Josephine:
My Dearest Lord/Lady, I have spoken to friends in Minrathous. They offer us their hospitality, not to mention shelter from the worst intrigues of the Archon's Palace. While you're well acquainted with the roving eyes of grand courts, please take care. Tevinter's regard can be the oldest and cruelest of them all. The family writes the weather back home is beautiful. I do miss our quiet times together. There is a question I've wanted to ask you for so long. I would like to pretend I have been busy, or it was not the proper time. But, if I am being honest, I only waited because I have been afraid of choosing a poor moment. Please, let me make a promise to you here. When we return to Antiva, I will ask you, on the steps of the estate, if you will do me a great honor. And I dream you will say yes. Always yours, Josephine Postscript: I cannot believe it nearly slipped my mind. Yvette and Lord Otranto send their best wishes, and hope to see us back home in time to welcome their third child.
Sera:
(An artistically doodled journal page presumably from the Inquisitor's partner, Sera.) Keep this as close as I need you. (A drawing of a pile of flowers, with lines like it's moving, an arrow pointing to it labeled "us.") - North again, Mini-wrathus still stuck up its own pucker. - Magiturds are scared of us. They don't even know. - We work with Maevaris, right? She's wow. - So many Friends! Jennies in all the walls! - We kill him this time. He took from us twice! (A drawing of a cracked egg scribbled out, with "can't even joke" in letters that tore the page.) - Still thinking of you sideways. - Never mind the Dalish, here's the Veil Jumpers! Tempest-kin! (A drawing of a tall, shorthaired elf (Sera?) and Irelin brandishing two fingers, backflipping as a tree explodes in runes.) - The memory thing makes my head spin. If that Rook doesn't take it, throw it out. - Tell Morrigan ppbbth! for me. - I'll also tell her ppbbth! She knows why. - Tell them to Stripe. Him. Up. I wanted more books. (More heavy scribbles that tear.) - You meet; I'll keep you safe. Then I'm your time off, and you're my time on. (The last section has different colored inks, like Sera has returned to it several times.) New naked names: -Sweet-tits (scribbled out) -Bestest (scribbled out) -Loverly (scribbled out) -Lovey (scribbled out) -My-for-always-and-ever - name's not too long, time's too short. -But "Sweet-tits," though (scribbled out)
Solas:
Vhenan, I do not know if you will see these words. My ritual is ready and will soon be set in motion. Perhaps when you read this the world will be as it once was, and you will see why all I did was necessary. I cannot ask your forgiveness, but I hope you come to understand. That night in Crestwood, when I shared the truth about your vallaslin... you do not know how close I came to breaking. I could have shared the truth, or even put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas... as I wanted. I regret the pain I caused you. What I feel for you will never change. The note is unsigned, but the handwriting is Solas'.
If the Inquisitor did not romance anyone...
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#datv#veilguard#solas#sera dragon age#josephine montilyet#the iron bull#dorian pavus#cullen rutherford#cassandra pentaghast#blackwall#thom rainier#cassandra allegra portia calogera filomena pentaghast#the inquisitor#veilguard spoilers#I haven't seen a post with them all together yet so here we go
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I did a whole bunch of drawings for Jason's team two weeks back, so now its time to concentrate on Steph's team! Here we've got 4 new characters for her team, with a couple extra tomorrow as well. Lets go into to them, one by one.
First up is the lantern for the group, more specifically a Violet Lantern apprentice aka Miri Riam! Her reasons for coming to earth is unknown at the moment but they seem to have some connection to Carol Ferris. Carol's also a Violet Lantern and Hal's(Green Lantern) on-and-off girlfriend and occasional antagonist. Perhaps Miri was sent to become Carol's apprentice? I've got more info on whats happening there, but thats for later.
As for why Miri was chosen for the group, I knew I wanted some kind of Lantern for the team, but couldn't find a green lantern that was both in Steph's age group and have fun interactions with them. But then I thought, does it have to be a green lantern? I had a red lantern for Jason's group after all. I looked around and found Miri! I don't know her exact age but I knew she was a young adult, so I'm just gonna have her be around Steph's age group.
The Violet Lanterns Corps are very ...enthusiastic about the power of love and Miri's no exception. She wants everyone to know the joy of Love, she's honestly kinda annoying about it. I remember this one GL issue where she was destroying a city just to get Kyle and Soranik to resolve their love troubles. That pretty much became the basis for how I'm writing Miri's personality. Like I said above, I'll get more into Miri at a later time.
Next is Maxine Hunkel aka Cyclone, granddaughter of Ma Hunkel aka the golden age Red Tornado! I already posted a drawing of her a while back, I thought she'd make a fun fit for the team. She's has such high energy and so much enthusiasm I couldn't help but find her utterly endearing. I think at a later point she'll end up joining the JSA but for now she's just having fun with this team.
Btw I thought that maybe her grandmother, Ma Hunkel, could fit a similar role that the other Red Tornado did for Young Justice, helping out a young hero team. Just a way to emphasize how Steph and Tim's teams can serve as foils to each other.
Next up is the archer of the group, Mia Dearden aka Speedy II. Tho she should probably have a different name due to Roy still being Speedy atm. Maybe Speedette? Ehhh, gotta workshop that.
Anyways here's Mia and Steph meeting as civilians, with Mia showing off her bow. Mia seems to be in some sort of school uniform, perhaps Oliver is sponsoring her to go to a fancy academy? Her backstory is similar to canon, with Oliver saving her from bad people. I'm not sure if her story should be exactly the same as canon, since Mia is 10 but terrible things like that do happen in real life to young children. But I don't know if a goofy au like mine is the best place to show that. But for now lets just say Mia is currently trying to heal and become a hero like Green Arrow.
I imagine Steph and Mia get along really well, they just get each other in a lot of ways. Steph can see Mia might be hurting inside and wants to cheer her up, hopefully with all of Mia's new friends she can.
Last up is Jaime Reyes aka Blue Beetle III. Unfortunately I haven't drawn him all that much so no individual drawing for him, tho I do like him.
As for why Jaime, I remember liking him in the YJ cartoon and found him pretty likeable in the comics as well. But I've always like the spiderman hero archetype anyways, which Jaime fits really well (I mean, it was done on purpose). Static and Sideways also fit the archetype and are in the team as well. Arguably you can say add Steph to this too, probably more than Tim in my personal opinion.
Another reason I wanted to add Jaime is that he and Steph almost became teammates in canon, in a failed Young Justice project. What could have been huh. Third reason is more silly tho, if Barbara and Ted Kord start to date in this au, imagine how grossed out Steph and Jaime will be lmao.
So there's four new teammates for the team, but! I've got a couple extra for tomorrow! And later on I hope to finally post some more doodles of these characters (some of them are real old, more than a year old). Especially Miri, she turned out to be such a fun character, and I've always liked the all the lantern corps. Here's a bonus doodle of them btw (with bonus unmasked Sideways):
So many new members, well, hope you liked all that!
#DC Comics#Stephanie Brown#Jackson Hyde#Kara Zor El#M'gann M'orzz#Miri Riam#Maxine Hunkel#Jaime Reyes#Mia Dearden#Carol Ferris#Derek James#my art#Training Wheels au
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Like, even if Ulder had not kicked Wyll out after finding him with MizoraâŚ.it wasnât going to last.
Like the trust would be gone, Ulder would perpetually be upset. Heâd start to keep Wyll away from any political commitments of his. No more training with the Fists. No more letting him sit in on meetings. No more discussions over dinner about the state of things. Because Wyllâs too much of a liability at that point. Thereâs no telling what info Mizora is storing away and potentially trying to use against them. Or Baldurâs Gate in general, on Zarielâs behalf.
And it wouldnât just be work related. Personal activities would come to a close. No more trips together. No more early morning training.
And yeah itâs fucked up what Ulder did, but manâŚ..if youâve ever been slowly iced out, then you know that shit has the potential to drive you insane.
As sudden as it was, at least it was one, solid kick to the chest. And then Wyll just had to pick up the pieces. But if he would have had to watch, day after day, as his father trusted him less and resented him moreâŚand eventually shut him out completely. Idk yâall. Seems worse. But thatâs me.
#Wyll of my life#long post#posted this in the chat 5ever ago and never posted it here like i planned#wyll ravengard#bg3 wyll#ulder ravengard#idk sometimes i just think staying would have been worse for him#it was a doomed narrative no matter what#i love them both and want them to resolve things#because they were given impossible odds#sometimes the hardest way is the only way#and Wyll talks about how he understands this angle#and thatâs why he doesnât hold ill will against this father#and honestlyâŚheâs right for that
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cheers to the future of humanity (and the future of us)
[ID: Digital illustration in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun. The illustration takes place during the ship/home arc, specifically chapter 21. At the center, Vash is grabbing Wolfwood by the collar and pulls him into a kiss in the middle of a celebration. The pair is colored in vibrant warm hues while their surroundings are colored in cooler colors like green and teals. Luida, Brad, Meryl, and Milly are shown amongst the crowd, occupied in the celebrations as Vash and Wolfwood share a moment by themselves at the center. END ID]
#vashwood#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#hospital yuri (explodeds) like any average vw enjoyer i will never get over that arc#specifically the scene where they heard the news of earth ships coming and did that little handshake they somehow conjured or#Had already. and then the entire ship had a party... meryl and milly started drinking immediately from joy and dragged vash and ww to get#wasted too and overall celebrate together. the chapter moves quickly just like how the hope was quickly withered out and died just hours#later when knives destroyed it. BUT IM JUST THINKING ABOUT IN THE MOMENT OF IT ALL bc in the same chapter#ww asks for a chance for tomorrow and then gets news of earth ships coming. in this same arc vash is thinking of all the things he needs to#resolve so his home doesn't get attacked so the people he love doesn't have to die and the humans he wants to protect gets to live.#i feel like deep down they both semi-recognize that it can't be this easy and regardless of earth ships coming- there's still a wait for#them to arrive and they have to hold out. and regardless ww still has a mission to follow through and vash knows knives would find out#but in that mood of celebration the entire ship brought in - they can at least let themselves relax for a moment and indulge#how they basically engaged with no violence for the few days they were on that ship coaxing them into domesticity... i feel like their#thoughts would wander to somewhere soft and all#allowing them to push aside the tiptoeing and tenseness and be sweet for a night#ruporas art
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Random hcs that have been on my mind for the past couple days: now in doodle format!
Text for each drawing written out under the cut in case it's not clear or anyone wants to translate it!
(1) <- Somehow soft?? <-Sometimes makes a comforting hum/rumble <-Holding for support
(2) <-Walks so quietly everywhere he goes <-Is about to meet god
(3) <-Can't see well in the dark (no eyelights) <-Can't help himself
(4) <-Thinks Color will turn Killer against him and convince him to run away
(5) <-Thinks Nightmare is using them all for the negativity and has brainwashed Killer into liking it
(6) <-Thinks if he runs and jumps at Cross as fast as he can Cross will lift him and it'll look so cool
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Horror Sans#Nightmare Sans#Color Sans#Killer Sans#These are all kinda random but at least I got something drawn today!!#I do really love the hc of Horror having that slasher movement about him#Because I have it too and I wanna share it with him#I can't stop scaring the people around me by entering rooms or walking up to them and I think he should have that too#It's almost always unintentional and scares him too when they suddenly yell#But sometimes... sometimes it's for funsies#Killer refuses to use a light of any kind even when he can't see so he's kind of asking for it#Also this is the short version of how I think Color and Nightmare are in a dadmare situation#They still have beef but it's like. they're both paranoid#They both think the other is gonna convince Killer to never see them again but it never happens#Maybe it gets resolved in some way but that's for another post#Also HorrorDust cuddles#Because that's the kind of nap I wanted to have earlier so I'm living vicariously through Dust#Also my first time trying to draw XChara! I hope I did okay!!#Trying to incorporate them into things slowly for Wick#Anyway I need to consider sleep goodnight gang!! :D
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one of my favorite parts of speculating ahead of the Veilguard is the number of people talking themselves around and around in the loop of "Illario is extremely suspicious and the most obvious choice for who betrayed Lucanis â However, Illario seems like he genuinely cares for Lucanis and seemed sincerely distraught in The Wake â I know in my heart it must be Illario: there is no one else with means and motive â If Illario did it, I understand why given how Caterina has treated him and them, and he has arguably earned a bit of a villain era â The situation is ultimately caused by Caterina and Crow politics and, again, Caterina â I don't want it to be Illario because I want he and Lucanis to have a good relationship given all they've suffered together â However, there is already an existing bitterness between them because of the succession question and in Illario generally because he's seen as lesser â Illario is the most obvious choice"
#so many of us are like it's gotta be Illario I don't want it to be Illario it makes sense it's Illario#It's like... it's a tragic situation because no matter whatâeven if it is Illarioâthe root cause is Caterina and she's already dead.#Speaking for myself. *I* keep doing this loop bc even if it was Illario it's hard with what we know so far for me to hold it against him?#Yes he had different choices. Obviously he could have done anything else. But like it isn't just ambition and spite.#Assuming it is him [points at the loop] it feels like a situation fostered by the way Caterina raised and hurt them both.#What methods do you feel you have when the only thing you know is knives and murder?#How else to feel when the cousin you love like a brother eventually convinces himself he doesn't hate the grandmother who ruined you both?#She is only âCaterinaâ in your mouths and you are âcousinâ in his but he is choosing her over you and how else is there to feel?#After all: she's sharpened all your emotions into knives. They're only ever knives.#ANYWAY that got away from me there for a second#I think that's why we're doing this loop. It's gotta be Illario but it being Illario resolves little. It's not a complete catharsis.#It's really the facts of their lives. It's really what Caterina did to them. It's really the yawning pit at the center of House Dellamorte.#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#Caterina Dellamorte#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#Dragon Age The Veilguard#Veilguard#Dragon Age#DATV things#DATV spoilers#Veilguard spoilers
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I am begging you, if your partner insults you, curses at you, screams at you, starts many conversations by accusing you of something (and if you two talk about this situation - you continue having arguments instead of just solving problems together), you feel in danger when near your partner, you feel safer when away from your partner, or your partner hits you, please please consider leaving them.
Just consider leaving the space they're in, and going to a friend's house or a family member's and staying for a day. Do you feel safer? Calmer?
You do not have to be friends with a person who disrespects or harasses you. You do not have to be friends with someone who hits you, who tells you you're stupid/ugly/annoying whatever, who screams at you when you spill food or forget to do the dishes instead of just asking "hey could you please clean this?", who doesn't accept a "no" from you such as "No I do not want to be touched right now." Please tell me you'd be kind enough to yourself to stop seeing a friend who hit you or told you you're worthless or screamed at you for not reading their mind (no one can read minds).
So if a partner does those things, you're allowed to stop seeing them too. You are allowed to love someone, to care about their wellbeing and want good things for them, and also REMOVE YOURSELF from their space and life. You're allowed to think "wow I love this guy, I am sad he's depressed, I hope he feels better" and also think "but he keeps calling me ugly and stupid, and every time I see him he insults me and screams and I get scared, I should stop visiting him and stop answering his calls and texts so I am no longer in situations where I could be insulted and screamed at." You are allowed to love someone, and ALSO protect yourself from them! You deserve to be safe! You deserve to protect yourself first, care about your own wellbeing first, care about if YOU are safe and content, even if it means upsetting someone else. Even if someone else would rather you were hurting, if it meant you kept seeing them.
You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be spoken to kindly, to feel you are safe from physical harm, to be talked to as a person with value. From strangers, friends, and lovers. If people are hurting you, if you feel worse being around them, you are ALLOWED to leave and put yourself in a place where you are no longer being hurt. You deserve to prioritize your own well being.
#rant#i just.....#i learned this lesson as a teen. putting up with abuse until i realized even if i loved an abuser#i am able to hope they have good things and also GET AWAY from them so they don't hurt me in the mean time#so many people think if they love someone they should endure all suffering if the other person hurts them#im begging you to be smarter than teenage me.#i have a friend who's lover screams at them multiple times a day. and much worse#and i... i wouldn't even continue a friendship with someone who screamed and yelled at me weekly let alone daily.#if someone cares about you... respects you... then they'll try to problem solve in a calm constructive manner#you might occassionally yell if emotions are heated and its one of your first fights together#but if you CARE about each other you'll ultimately eventually be able to say#'hey the screaming scares me and i want us to be able to work stuff out without screaming. lets talk about why you're upset and see what we#can change so we both feel better and dont fight about this again'#but like... if you dont even feel safe enough to have THAT conversation... frankly you shouldn't be together#you shouldn't have to feel your ONLY options are feel in danger and accept abuse OR never bring up your discomfort#and pain in the hopes you'll be abused less.#if you dont feel you have the safe ability to discuss problems and resolve them? maybe you NEED to break up#before you get hurt for longer and longer and it feels less possible to ever be treated fairly again
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Maybe the truth at the heart of Shadowstruck is the importance of family. Because the most compelling stories in this universe are about what happens when you tell parents that some of their children have no right to their love, care, and protection. It destroys what should be the strongest and most natural bonds of love, and that simple horrible thing leads to all the complicated problems in their oppressive society.
#adventures in writing#shadowstruck#got to thinking about this yesterday while reading something talking about the family's importance to society#maybe something about how a child is under a family's loving care until they can take care of themself#and it made me think about how both of the main story ideas that have sprung from this universe#are about someone who suffers when a father deems them unworthy of love#and that got me thinking about how 'uncle tom's cabin' turned people against slavery#largely because victorians valued the family and the book showed how slavery tore families apart#so maybe i should read 'uncle tom's cabin' just as background#but anyway if i decide to do something with the original version of 'shadowstruck'#the compelling thing is not whatever political intrigue was going to happen (which I never defined)#but the possibility that rinna would cross paths with the family that sold her into slavery#meet the younger sister who was given her name#literally her replacement#meet the father who made the decision not to kill her#but also sold her away from the house to avoid the shame that would have come#from people recognizing her as his child#i can't decide if he'd meet her in a slavery context#and have to live with seeing the life he condemned her to#or if she'd be involved with activists at this point#in a position of at least some level of freedom and safety#and he would see her as a woman with thoughts and feelings#(who looks so much like her mother)#and on some level recognize that he did a horrible thing to her#but how do you begin to go about apologizing or helping her#or in any way mending this horrible unforgivable thing that tore you apart?#the trouble about this universe (like so many of my other ones)#is that there's the potential for so many little stories and characters#that don't necessarily want to resolve themselves into full coherent novels#it gives me so many thoughts that it's hard to settle on a complete story
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tim and disney+ were cowards for not giving us portbowell
#i would also like to bring up how impossible it is to put their first names together#WE WERE ROBBED#instead of BREAKING MY HEART and destroying portwell after building them up#they could've just had gina realize she loves them both and wants to be with them both#*shakes violently* WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALL#i feel like a nice fraction of ej's stress would've dissolved if portbowell was made canon#why worry about your girlfriend doing flirty things with someone else if you're both dating him now YA KNOW ???#yes âboth dating himâ this ship is not gina dating both ej and ricky it's all three equally dating each other#a lot of that s3 tension could've been resolved if we all just kissed there i said it#on a little bit of a portbowell kick so expect another post about this#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series#portbowell#gina porter#ricky bowen#ej caswell
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2023 reads // twitter thread  Â
Every Gift a Curse
end to the All Our Hidden Gifts trilogy, about a coven of Irish teen witches
they learn more about the Housekeeper spirit as they try to find a way to stop the religious cult from disappearing more teenagers from their town
tarot magic, friendship,
#Every Gift a Curse#i included both covers bc i like aspects of both of them :)#or i'd like the character one more if the colour palette was different#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#enjoyed this a lot overall!#the :D made me. feel emotions#the housekeeper thing was interesting!!!! it finished kind of fast also but i guess thats how these things usually go#a few ehh things:#kind of pairing everyone up......#very confused when lily kissed a dude i could have sworn she was. anything but into dudes lol#I guess it could have been her experimenting (I swear there was an aspec hint last book?) but why not explore that more#also why the hinting of aaron as a love interest. nobody wants that#iâm glad this isnât popular so i donât have to see a fandom babifying him#oh also breakup drama AGAIN but at least resolved more quickly this time
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Don't get we wrong, I feel hopeful too, specially with the whole network change because it means the series has an actual shot of going back to the way it used to be. I feel like lately the emergencies don't have that spark anymore, so I'm looking forward to see what ABC does with them. Also, let's cross our fingers and think that they'll actually give a damn about promo and they'll use (at least in social media) what attracts more attention... I mean, if the answer is a couple of firefighters that are raising a child together, I wouldn't mind.
However, what makes me mad is that by the time they were working on the finale they weren't sure if they were going to come back or not. From what it looks like, all the characters will get a sort of happiesh?) ending just in case, because again, the ABC move back then was not a sure thing.
They did that with The Resident. Sure, at first it was supposed to be a season finale, but they still did an ending that could be interpreted as both options: season finale or series finale. Well, it was cancelled so at the end they at least got a chance to leave the characters in a good place.
That's what will happen with 911 this season, I believe, because after almost six years the show at least deserved a decent ending if for one reason or the other they were not coming back.
My point is, we know that it's not going to be an open ending, and that all the characters will be left in a good place. I know there are a lot of possibilities, but we are talking about miss Kristen Reidel, it wouldn't surprise me if Buck and Eddie end this season with Natalia and Marisol, representing a "traditional" conclusion for both characters.
It wasn't hard to leave them single, if she truly didn't want Buddie to happen, but she just had to bring two random characters for the last four episodes of the season, right? If I follow her previous patterns, what will happen is that for the general audience, Buck and Eddie will end in "heathy" relationships with Natalia and Marisol, but they will share a significant moment together that's up to interpretation for the internet. Classic queerbaiting behavior me thinks.
I'm aware that now we are far from losing the war, especially if we consider that ABC has a different target audience and that they actually tend to listen to them. So, Buddie truly has a chance of happening now.
At the end, what I'm trying to say is, I feel optimistic for the ABC move, but I'm also frustrated because if that had been the series ending, that woman would have given a poor conclusion to Buck and Eddie just because yolo?) There was no reason to have those two random characters with them.
Buddie has a second chance, but I hope and pray to the universe that ABC will realize what they have in their hands and even if *she stays, they will overule her bad takes, not only on Buddie, but for the show in general, that move was not a cheap one. If they really want for the series to last, changes need to be made.
It's also sad to think that if they had stayed at FOX or if they had cancelled the series, we never really had a chance to win, huh. Homophobia will always prevail, no matter what.
The thing with this, anon, is that mostly I think it's a really fair reading of what's been going on. I just read the information we have really differently.
I definitely agree with you that the emergencies have been meh for a while now, but to me that's just a symptom of being 6 seasons deep into a procedural; a new network might breathe a little more life into it, and I hope it does, but I've never watched a show through a network switch so I'm pretty đ¤ˇđťââď¸ on how much it's gonna affect the actual content. Def hoping for more promo though.
I get what you're saying about all the character's getting a "happy-ish" ending because they didn't know about season renewal but....isn't that always how it is? Like, I don't personally see much of a difference between where it seems they're gonna leave off 6x18 than any of the other finales we've had.
And I get why a finale where one or both of the boys are in a relationship with a woman would be disappointing if we're reading it from a "they thought this might be the last episode they were ever making" angle (but I am BEGGING someone to show me what KR has said or done that makes y'all believe she hates buddie. Because I was watching casually through most of s5, I missed all that. And from the show itself, I don't get that impression at all. I am genuinely asking PLEASE i need context). But, while I've always been a buddie girlie, 6b is literally the first time I've ever thought they might actually do it. And I've been really confident since 6x13 and the interview about the couch being in play until the very last scene of the season (and still am) that the closing shot of this season is gonna be the three boys on the Diaz couch. It's just the only thing I see as a possible resolution. Not to say you can't read that as a "open for interpretation" fan service moment, but until I know exactly why people think KR is fundamentally opposed the idea of buddie together, I'm gonna be reading it the way the text tells me to.
Because while I've become a bit of a buddie truther in 6b, they're not in a place where getting together by the end of the season would make....any sense. A lot of people disagreed with me on that, but that's been my stance since like, early s6. Just cuz there was no development for them in the first half of the season at ALL, and we knew how jam packed 6b was gonna be with other plotlines with other characters. They've got a lot of growing to do before buddie canon would even be satisfying imo. I just really believe we might be on that track now.
And with that in mind, here's my perspective on the ending IF they were writing it thinking they might never write another episode again: Buck can and should end up alone at the end of the season. He should really concretely know what he's looking for, in the way he didn't when he dumped Taylor. Having Buck explore the opportunity to date someone who is fascinated by his experiences but not actually interested in him is a great way to do that, imo. Him walking away from that and realizing he needs to find someone who will, in Oliver's words, meet him where he's at. I really cannot see Natalia being relevant beyond the finale at all, and if I'm wrong, I'm gonna start seriously questioning the writers, because they've told us she's not it for him (like, even my friends who watch the show very casually were screaming "NOOOOO!!!" at the screen every time she was mentioned in 6x15).
Eddie's more complicated though. Let's say, hypothetically, they realized midway through shooting 6b that renewal wasn't likely with Fox, and they didn't know whether or not they'd be picked up by another network. Eddie's been on this little journey of self discovery about wanting a partner, and has accepted the fact that he's lonely. Ending the show with Eddie in his single status quo would be sad as hell for the GA! We have to remember, we are not the only ones watching this show, and the vast majority are not seeing buddie as romantic options for each other. That can change, I really hope it does change, I am optimistic that it WILL change; but it hasn't yet. If they were trying to wrap things up nicely, with everyone in a pretty good spot, I can see why shoving relatively-underutilized Eddie with a nice girl would be a good way to do that. Easy to undo if they got a s7, but also a lot easier to convince the GA of a love interest for Eddie being good for him, just because he's not as big of a deal to the show (which I hate. I love Eddie I want him to have the world. But Buck is the main character on this show, let's be real)
That's not to mention that this is all speculation; we don't have any idea what's gonna happen with these two women. I'm standing pretty firm in my belief that they won't end the season in relationships, but I could be wrong. And if I'm wrong about Eddie, I can see why they'd make that choice and I'm not even a little mad at it. If I'm wrong about Buck, and he ends up in a clearly doomed relationship with Natalia, I'm less cool with that, but I can see the opportunities for s7 and assume that they were working under the assumption that they'd get a renewal somewhere. If Buck ends up in a seemingly perfect and happy relationship with Natalia, my faith in the writers is gonna plummet, not because queerbaiting, but because they told us it was doomed in 6x15, and it would make it clear to me that the writers don't even know what kind of stories they want to tell on a micro, episode to episode level. But I really can't imagine that happening.
#anon drop by with your thoughts anytime id love to hear what you think after next ep and the finale too#i don't really wanna touch the word queerbaiting with a 10 ft pole#because i do get the concern#and i get the reaction#but i donât think its queerbaiting at all#because these two guys are best friends#and theyre each others partner in the main cast of the show#even if theyre both married off to other people we're gonna get the canon couples and also buddie when they divide episodes like that#and thats a really good thing to me? because i love them#and i want them to share screentime no matter who their romantic endgame is#and do i feel like the show is dangling a carrot on a stick in front of me sometimes? yeah#but thats because they're besties and im watching with them with romance goggles on#my real concern is the couch. i am so hyperfixated on the couch that if that resolves poorly i might lose my mind a little#and not even in a 'if its not buddie im gonna be disappointed' way. just in a 'use the metaphor well or so help me god' way#moral of the story is im having more fun with the show now than i have since joining the fandom#and im really confident in the season finale#and i REALLY want someone to drop the KR receipts so i can form an actual opinion on her stance#911 spec#911 spoilers#911 fox#buddie#long post#ask a bean#bean brain
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horrible things have happened in ball dur's gait 3
#mine#i. um. well. no good way to say this#when i was planning this run i wanted my final party to be me shart astarion (ofc) and karlach bc i think composition wise#we all have good roles (im wizard) and bc ive seen clips of star and kar being like best pals and i was like AWWW#and i wanted that for both of them and also kar is just fun i love her anyway#well. i didnt run into her until several hours into the tiefling druid quest story thing#and apparently i made the wrong decisions because when i did get to her my only option was to kill her#i tried knocking her out first to see if i could maybe recruit after but nope. it was either kill her or kill the paladins#and i was like fuuuuuuck i dont want to do either of those things (couldnt see a tangible benefit to killing the paladins)#(an article said that if you make the wrong grove choices she just will not join you at all so i was like well. ok)#i know she has that like engine thing going on so i rationalized it in my head as a mercy kill but i feel SO BAD....#im never ever doing that to her again and ive resolved to make sure my next run is me shar star and kar like i wanted#(next run will be resistant durge)#anyway. in brighter news i finally got my companions to like me i think#also got the bite scene. so..... anyway................
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⎠sylus x wife!reader
contents: fluff, suggestive. arranged marriage au. hints of slow burn. you like playing hard to get and he loves calling you his wife. 1.4k wc.
ę° note á° I had to deposit my messy thoughts somewhere and this headcanon post was the result.
part two here. ęą
â Arranged marriage with Sylus where he prefers to call it a âstrategic partnershipâ as a means of appearances to flaunt that he has it allâan empire, riches, strength, influence and now a darling wife who waits for him at home. Youâre not so much as a random choice, Sylus had been watching you from afar for a while and in exchange for his protection in the N109 zone he strikes a deal with you to play a simple role. You have every reason to be wary of him and know to keep your wits about yourself, but even you acknowledge that your chances are better with him. Though, if you asked him how he was so certain youâd agree to his proposal heâd admit that he wasnât but he knew youâd consider it if he had an advantage over you.
â He sets his terms and conditionsâyou reside in his humble abode, wedding ring always worn on your finger, and attend events with him as a pretty accessory on his arm to contribute to his image. But heâll never admit that he actually enjoys your company at business functions that often feel dull to him. You are more than welcome to spend your days as you please so long you donât cause him trouble, and that also means you have his black card privileges to spoil yourself rotten. Of course, he accommodates most requests you may have like sleeping in separate rooms if thatâs what you wish (and redecorating because his furnishing decisions are quite bleak).
â Luke and Kieran can sense that their boss feels something for you despite his nonchalance toward this little arrangement. It starts off small, it always doesâSylus takes note of your morning and night routine, your picky eating habits and has the chef make adjustments to your preference, how he sees you out in the gardens and come back with spring tulips to brighten the space and the next week he already replaced the slowly withering flowers with fresh ones. The twins whisper among themselves that heâs often less annoyed and irritated when youâre around, and their boss wouldnât go through the trouble of being considerate unless he cares for you. Itâs almost exciting for them both to witness a budding romance unfold before their very eyes and they do offer a helping hand here and there to keep things interesting.
â Sylus thinks itâs adorable how you keep trying to resist him and thatâs precisely the reason he loves seeking you out just to watch your resolve crumble under his touch. He finds you in the kitchen preparing a snack and cages you from behind with his hands planted on either side of you against the counter. âHey kitten, I thought Iâd find you in here.â You feel his hot breath down your neck as he pushes your hair aside just enough to lay a soft kiss on your shoulder. He chuckles when you comment that heâs being awfully touchy with you, and he purposely moves closer so that his chest is pressing against your back. âPerhaps I just canât keep my hands to myself where youâre involved. Besides, youâre my wife now. I think I have the right to touch you whenever I like.â
â You remind him that youâre his wife in title only, but that doesnât discourage his flirtation and teasing as he allows you to nudge past him. He follows you into the common area and takes a seat on the couch, spreading his legs wide and taking up a lot of space. His gaze is settled on you as he pats his thigh and his lips curl into a smirk. âCome here, wife.â You naturally scoff meanwhile you place the plate of seasonal fruits on the side table and situate yourself closest to the armrest, taking a bite into a juicy red strawberry as you ignore his piercing stare.
â For someone who always gets what he wants, Sylus isnât used to being defied like this. And had it been anyone else his patience would wear dangerously thin, but he supposes that youâre a special exception because he seems to enjoy the chase and claiming its reward. With one small gesture, he drags you across the couch by a gravitational pull and you squeal when the swirling red easily turn and maneuver you so youâre forced to straddle him and your hands prop on his shoulders for support. âThere, much better. Comfy? This is the best seat in the house.â His gaze locks with yours, and he thinks you huffing and frowning at him is simply cute. He firmly grabs your wrist with the bitten strawberry in your hand and lifts it to his mouth for a sweet taste.
â âNo fair⌠using your Evol against me like this.â You grumble under your breath as you gently trail your thumb from his chin to the corner of his mouth where the strawberry juices began to spill. Then an impulsive thought takes over and you pinch his cheek between your fingers, creating a sticky mess on his face. âI hope youâre enjoying yourself. Thatâs for treating me like a sack of potatoes.â He chuckles once more, his hand falling on your hip and he gives you a light squeeze. âOh, I do have every intention of fully enjoying my wife tonight.â And by that, he means taking you out for a joyride on his motorbike and feeling your arms wrapped around him tightly as the engine roars through the streets under the night sky and sinking moon. Sylus would never engage in any intimate acts you werenât ready for, but he loves seeing you fluster at his suggestive remarks.
â As the weeks cross over into months, you never imagined that youâd be spending so much time with Sylus outside of your agreed terms. Heâs everywhere in every waking moment of your life even when heâs not there physically. Youâre learning new things about him each day and you (begrudgingly) like being around himâeven when he can sometimes be a playful bully toward you. When heâs gone for long stretches of time to deal with negotiations and other important matters in the N109 zone, you can feel your heart yearning for him but youâd never say that you miss him out loud when you think he's still toying with you. But with the way he cares for you like youâre both in a real and genuine relationship, itâs hard to know his true intentions and keep your feelings buried deep inside your chest for long.
â You accidentally confirm that Sylus does harbor romantic feelings for you when you carelessly bring up your replacement in a lighthearted joke. Youâve never seen his face falter so quickly at your words as he averts his gaze for a moment to collect himselfâa hint of vulnerability in his crimson hues. âI wouldnât have found a new wife.â He shakes his head and tells you, his voice a little rougher than before. You donât know what to say, but you manage a soft âNo?â that reaches his ears. âNo. I wouldnât have been able to replace you, kitten. Youâre it for me. The only one. No one could fill the void youâd leave behind.â
â You and Sylus have kissed before, but this is the first time youâre initiating it. As you brush your lips against his, thereâs a softness you never noticed. His hand slips around the small of your back and he pulls you close against him, returning your kiss with the same tenderness as though savoring the taste of you. You lean back after a moment, your palm meeting his cheek in a sweet embrace. âYou know, I'm still getting used to the idea that Iâve fallen for you.â You can see him returning back to normal when he offers you a cocky smirk. âAnd yet here you are. In my arms, with your lips on mine. I think youâre not being entirely honest, my beautiful wife.â Sylus has waited a long time to hear those words from you but you donât need to know that right now.
#ᨳ âË đđĽđ¨đŽđđ°đ˘đŹđŠ.đ°đŤđ˘đđđŹ#sylus#sylus x reader#l&ds x reader#love and deepspace x reader#sylus love and deepspace#lnds sylus#sylus lnd#sylus l&ds#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#dunmeshi analysis#I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you#and the way you are because of it isnât anything to be ashamed of#but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can#dungeon meshi spoilers
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